Date: Saturday 1st October 2022
Official miles: 50.4 miles
Elevation: 7,648 ft / 2,331 m
Weather: Dry, mild, sunny spells
Start: Narberth car park, Pembrokeshire
Route type: 4.2 mile laps
Conditions: Mixture of slippery mud, tarmac, grass, woodland trails
Website link: Narberth Nobbler
Describe the route in three words: what a race!
The Dirty Dozen 2022 - Race Report
Lap description: 10am. “GO!” We all charged off the start line following Race Director Tim who was to lead use around the first lap, he’d explained it was well marked but not well marshalled as he didn’t think it was fair to ask people to marshal for 12 hours. We immediately hit a bottle neck as the short grass section off the start line went down a steep narrow and already very muddy path, realistically it was single file or you would risk rudely sending someone sliding down the mud chute on their backside. We turned right onto Carding Mill Lane (gravel path) and followed it down for almost a mile, over a bridge with water running across the path then uphill and a right turn onto Valley Road (quiet country lane). We then went through a couple of kissing gates and were greeted by a beauty of a hill, known by the Nobblers as the BOD (Bank of Doom), it was so brilliantly steep, steps had been created by a combination of men's feet and a shovel (I could tell they were men's feet due to the height between each step, a big stretch for my little legs!), a rope line was there in case you needed to haul yourself up. Single file yet again, there was no chance of overtaking on this. The climb eased off and we turned left on to a soft trail which was extremely enjoyable to run down, taking care not to trip over tree roots. It was then time to round to the right on what I later named “Weeeeeeee Corner” before a more gentle climb through woodland passing many giant red toadstools, this became “Toadstool Alley”. I have a feeling, that the climb up the hill, and this path through the woodland, were created specifically for the event as they seemed to have been recently made. Toadstool Alley was fabulous but I made a mental note of the many, many trip hazards and felt that I was never going to be able to charge through this section at full pelt. After hopping over numerous stumps and log hazards (conveniently spray painted pink) it was time to turn left onto another soft trail, gently uphill. Through a gate which was to become my 22 minute marker and then a stony downhill section, over a ford and then a long tarmac climb. Left turn to cross a couple of fields, through a gate with a big step down into another field, another gate with a tricky and potentially slippery step down to then head back on to Carding Mill Lane which would become my 37 minute marker to retrace our steps now uphill. Once at the “You thought it said RUM” sign, it was just a slightly flatter uphill to then turn up the Mud Chute and across the grass and to the finish.
Stats: anticlockwise 4.2 miles with 207 ft elevation. Clockwise 4.2 miles with 200 ft elevation.
Lap 1 | 10am | Starters: 100 entered 22 DNS
After the initial charge down Carding Mill Lane I fell into stride with a gentlemen named Kevin. He asked me a question. “Pardon?" I said. The poor guy had to repeat this process about 5 times, for the life of me I could not comprehend what he was saying. It turned out he was asking me about the pace, what sort of pace did I think was good. Kevin and I stuck together the whole lap, chatting tactics. When we reached the finish, we wished each other luck and went our separate ways. I felt that I had taken the first lap too quickly but didn’t mind as really it was an orientation lap and I had been making a note of all the places I planned to walk.
I had a lovely long break, ate some melon, popped on some suncream and dug out my sun cap and sunglasses. I noted that the queue for the portaloo was very long, I certainly wouldn’t be wasting any time doing that and felt it best to use the next lap looking for somewhere with suitable natural facilities provided by Mother Nature.
Lap 1: 47 minutes and 09 seconds
Distance covered: 4.2 miles
Lap 2 | 11am | Starters: 78
Not wanting to get caught up in the bottleneck situation again, I positioned myself as near the front as I could. This lap I had two main goals, create a pattern to follow on the following laps, and find somewhere to wee. I wanted to get a timeline worked out too. I reached the first kissing gate at 12 minutes, the gate at roughly half way at 22 minutes, the field at 32 minutes and Carding Mill Lane at 37 minutes. These times would become the foundation of my consistent laps.
The first mile of lap 2 I became aware of a person with the most irritating laugh I have ever encountered. I’m sure their laugh fills their family and friends ears and hearts with joy but I am ashamed to say that it seems to be the most grating sound I have ever heard. The tone of the laugh cut right through me, it seemed excessively loud and what really irritated me is this person found EVERYTHING funny. Their reaction to anything that anyone said was to laugh. When they spoke, they would finish their sentence with a laugh. I was alarmed, how was I going to cope with this sound following me around for 12 hours? I’d not really considered someone else’s mannerisms enough to bring me down but this could turn out to be a tricky situation. I needed to loose them. Once I reached the BOD, I charged up it as fast as the person in front of me would allow, crying “Excuse me!” the moment I got to the top and put as many people as I could between us to drown out the grating sound.
Laughing maniac person now far behind me, it was time to focus on the next task, emptying my bladder. Just after the ford I detoured into a field to do this. The grass was very long and disguised the river bank so I very carefully perched as hidden as I could and kept very still for fear of falling into the river.
I emerged from the undergrowth with my knickers in a terrible twist and the fellas behind me laughing at the 3 foot long blade of grass hanging like a tail from my leggings.
It was close to lunchtime so I ate a Philadelphia and cucumber sandwich with a packet of Hula Hoops. I made sure to top up my water ready for the next break.
Lap 2: 47 minutes and 47 seconds
Distance covered: 8.4 miles
Lap 3 | 12pm | Starters: 76
We were offered an alternative start and fractionally longer route of going to the left and avoiding the bottle neck muddy descent, I was starting near the front so was happy to risk the bottle neck and take on the Mud Chute.
As enjoyable as my lunch had been, it did leave with with a bit of a stitch for the first mile. However, it had gone by the end of the lap and I was ready for some Maltesers. I opened the packet and looked in dismay. There were only three Maltesers inside! So I ate a Milky Way too. I reflected on the fact I was already 25% through the event.
Lap 3: 48 minutes and 27 seconds
Distance covered: 12.6 miles
Lap 4 | 1pm | Starters: 73
The event crew had got into their groove now, ‘The Wheel of Misfortune’ had been erected and the Countdown theme tune played for the final minute as the wheel was spun. There were three possible outcomes: left (clockwise lap), right (anticlockwise lap) or runner’s choice. This lap would be the first clockwise lap.
There was a queue to get over and through the first gate into the field, and then again another queue to get over and through the gate between the fields. The bonus to this lap would be the long uphill lane would now be a downhill, however, the whole lap seemed slower, in fact, it had fractionally less vert than the anticlockwise route (7ft) but perhaps going down the BOD takes longer than going up it? I was not so keen on this way round, however, it was enjoyable going down the BOD for a change.
I had a handful of mixed fruit and nuts (having got food envy of someone on the start line eating theirs). I checked my messages and well wishes from my lovely friends and then spotted a post on the Blaze members group wishing Dave good luck for the London Marathon and Kev good luck for the Dorney Half. Hang on a minute, where was my good luck?
Lap 4: 50 minutes and 27 seconds
Distance covered: 16.8 miles
Lap 5 | 2pm | Starters: 64
The alternative start was now compulsory. The event team knew there were people still out on the course, if we all went charging down Mud Chute as they were coming up, it would be carnage.
I started this lap off the back of a shorter break and my mind kept flitting back to the good luck message that had missed me off. I always find it funny how the tiniest little things that are so insignificant can really play on your mind. I tried to take my mind off it and proceeded to concentrate on getting my head around the potential clockwise lap happening again. I needed to always make sure I’d prepared whatever I needed towards the end of each break so that it would be there for me when I got in off the lap. I then started thinking about cake. I contemplated making a cup of tea but that would just take time, as nice as it would be with my cake. I decided I’d have a Coke instead. I was practically drooling the entire lap and planned step by step what I would do when I got back to the car. Get Coke and cake out of cooler bag. Get plate and bag with cutlery. Sit down. Quench thirst with water. Cut cake. Drink Coke. Eat cake. And that is pretty much what happened. Oh my word, that Coke was good, I told myself go easy on it, only have half a can but I nearly drank the whole thing, opps.
Lap 5: 49 minutes and 13 seconds
Distance covered: 21 miles
Lap 6 | 3pm | Starters: 56
I then spent the entire of lap 6 in a Coke panic, I hadn’t bought enough! Sainsbury’s had substituted my 500ml bottles of Coke with Coke Zero, I refused delivery of them and packed 3 cans from my husband’s sacred Coke stash (don’t tell him). I’d enjoyed that can so much, clearly 3 cans wasn’t going to be enough! I then worked out a rationing plan throughout the lap (no more than half a can per lap). I was pleased to hit my 22 minute gate on time, as well as my 37 minute marker. The final hill really is an interesting one as it makes a huge difference on rest time, I had various gates and trees which I would walk or run between depending on how much of a break I wanted. I was impressed that we were already on lap 6, the halfway point, time really does fly when you are having fun.
I’d chatted to a chap on a previous lap in a yellow tee shirt about the importance of the mind, as he came up beside me he told me that I was his inspiration, to be honest I’m not really sure what I had said to him but whatever it was, it must have been good! We met a vehicle towing a large trailer on Valley Road, I noticed how most people were stopping to let it go by, not me I’m afraid to say, I felt that they were having to drive super slowly because of the large amount of runners and I would just run on the verge when it reached me. It was a bit like when an emergency vehicle comes along and everyone drives their cars into curbs or stops in the middle of a roundabout causing chaos, I felt that as long as I was sensible, I didn’t need to lose my rhythm.
I had half a banana and half a sandwich on this lap (and no Coke!). Perhaps because I had been so poorly in the days leading up to the race, but I could not believe how much food I was eating! I wouldn’t normally eat every hour on an ultra!
Lap 5: 49 minutes and 12 seconds.
Distance covered: 25.2 miles
Lap 7 | 4pm | Starters: 48
The countdown theme tune began, the Wheel of Misfortune was spun, and it was to be another clockwise lap, eeek! Off we went, I knew this would be a slower lap resulting in a shorter break. I’d all but forgotten about the-person-with-the-annoying-laugh and then “HA HA HA HA!” there it was. Oh no! I need to deal with this, I can’t let the missing good luck and the crazed laugh make me DNF! What would Lucy (a friend who is a mindset and resilience coach) say? Think, THINK! I know, this person is happy. They are laughing because they are happy. That means they are surrounded by a positive bubble. Each time they laugh, the bubble will get bigger. If the bubble gets big enough, it will actually push me along. Yes, this did the trick. I now started willing the person to laugh! I passed a chap emptying his shoe of stones, I couldn’t help myself, I smugly gestured towards my gaiters and said, “You should get yourself some gaiters!” Oh dear, what a knob he must think I am. Time to climb down the BODl, the rope was quite a useful addition as I loosely held it in my hand, it gave me the confidence to go down quicker knowing that if I started to fall over I could use it as a break. There were certainly a lot more moans and groans from others, I was still feeling good though.
On my break I got my Pot Noodle out as I planned to eat it at the end of the next lap. I also got my head torch ready and long sleeved top, just in case it got colder when the sun set later on.
Lap 6: 51 minutes and 08 seconds
Distance covered: 29.4 miles
Lap 8 - 5pm | Starters: 41
Runner’s choice on the Wheel of Misfortune and we all screamed “RIGHT!” Anticlockwise it was, super, this meant a quicker lap and more time to eat my Pot Noodle. There was noticeably less people in the race now, especially coming off the start as everyone would crowd around the Wheel of Misfortune and I would loiter on the start line meaning I got a clean getaway and would more than once be the first one down the hill and onto Carding Mill Lane. Definitely worthwhile as saved precious seconds by not getting stuck behind someone. I met John on this lap, a really nice guy, very tall and slim, I’d noticed him on previous laps, always finishing ahead of me by quite some time. We chatted about positive thinking, ultras and Backyard, we talked tactics and our own strategies. I told him about the 22 minute gate and he didn’t seem convinced as we left Toadstool Alley, he thought I was a couple of minutes behind schedule. We reached the gate, I glanced at my watch and informed him that we were bang on 22 minutes, he seemed quite impressed! John mentioned to me that he was running slower, I told him not to worry, “If you are still hanging about with me you’ll still get plenty of rest time.” He stayed with me until the end of the lap and we actually ran pretty much the entire length of Carding Mill Lane (bar the steep uphills) and it showed in our lap time, one of my quicker laps!
Race Director Tim was at the finish, telling me I had paced the lap well, I told him that I was being pretty consistent with my laps.
I was still somewhat bothered by missing out on some luck so I decided to text Hannah before heading out on Lap 9 to tell her off, I immediately felt as though a weight had been lifted! It’s good to get things off your chest on an ultra even if they are so ridiculously trivial!
Lap 8: 47 minutes and 47 seconds.
Distance covered: 33.6 miles
Lap 9 | 6pm | Starters: 29
I met John again on this lap and we continued chatting, he confessed that I had pulled him up Carding Mill Lane on the previous lap as he was beginning to flag, and I confessed I only ran the whole thing because I was with him! As we ran through the woodland towards Weeeeeeee Corner, I commented on how the light was beginning to go and we certainly would be needing our head torches on the next lap.
I told John that I found it useful to set mini goals, for example my mini goal this lap was to use the bathroom! I already had eyed up a suitable gate on the long uphill lane so we said our goodbyes on that hill, he sped up a bit to leave me to it and I darted into a farmer's field. I felt it was also time to bring out the rice pudding at the end of this lap which I would wash down with a cup of tea. Happy days! I passed Tim again just before the finish and tapped my watch telling him I was still keeping consistent but a little slower as I had had a wee, he laughed and told me I was a dark horse. Funny, as that is exactly what race director Mark had said on Faccombe Backyard!
I finished the lap and was very efficient getting my mug out and heading to the tea tent, I made it super quick, added some cold water to it so it was immediately drinkable and had it with my rice pudding. We had all been told that from 7pm we would need to wear head torches so I popped mine on, fearing I’d forget it if I didn’t put it on straight away!
Lap 9: 49 minutes and 34 seconds
Distance covered: 37.8 miles
Lap 10 | 7pm | Starters: 26
The starting corral looked awesome with everyone’s head torches switched on. I couldn’t believe we were so near the finish already!
This was the lap I got chatting to Bubbles, a really nice lady who I had noticed on previous breaks as she had three dogs with her. I’d also overheard her say at the start whilst sat in her van that she had bought enough food to feed everyone for two days! Bubbles certainly lives a pretty cool life, although she owns not one, but three houses, she spends a lot of the time living out of her van, hiking and running with the dogs, not just in Wales but all over the country, and sea swimming too. She’ll return for work (she’s self employed) and then head off on another adventure!
My tummy felt borderline a little different on this lap so I made a note to scoff some ginger at the end of it…. just in case. I also had a Voom bar (from my free taster kit!). I’d made a plan to eat whatever I needed at the end of lap 10 and to not have anything to eat at the end of lap 11, leaving my tummy free from food bouncing around. I’d also decided that lap 11 needed to involve more walking to leave me as fresh legged as possible for the race on lap 12.
Although I had hit my 22 minute gate on this lap on time, I was a bit behind when I got to Carding Mill Lane, I think the nighttime was slowing me down a little, but no worries, still plenty of rest time available.
Lap 10: 50 minutes and 43 seconds.
Distance covered: 42 miles
Lap 11 | 8pm | Starters: 17
Another anticlockwise lap much to everyone’s delight and we all went charging off the start line once more. This lap felt quite exciting as the DNFs were still coming in, as we passed them they wished us good luck and we gave them our condolences, I spotted Kevin and told him very well done. Bubbles and I continued our conversation for some of this lap. I also spent the lap formulating a plan. Where could I push myself to run faster? Where could I switch out the walk for a run? What could I do to just quicken my pace? As I was nearing the end of the lap, I thought about how I will always have a nervous wee before a race. Bummer. The thought had now entered my head. Even though I didn’t need a wee, I thought I should go. As it was now very dark, with less runners spaced further apart, I knew I could get away with not bothering to hide too much. I ran down through the fields and planed to go off to the side of the gate, before the climb up Carding Mill Lane. I couldn’t see the marshal who was normally there so quietly squatted down to do my thing, spying the head torches coming down the hill in the distance, knowing if I faced them they’d not see what I was doing due to my bright light. I clambered through the gate and got a shock when the marshal said, “Well done young lady!”. Opps. I think I had pee-ed right in front of them!
Lap 11: 52 minutes and 09 seconds.
Distance covered: 46.2 miles
Lap 12 | 9pm | Starters: 17
Well here we go. The 46 mile warm up is done and it all boils down to this twelfth lap of 4.2 miles. Bring it on. I was very much looking forward to this. My goal was to do this lap faster than any of my other laps. I had some top advice from Kevin and Hannah. Kev: Suss out who you are going to tag on to in the last lap, stay with them and out sprint them at the end. Hannah: Just like a lap of the cage at the end of a session - pump those legs and elbows out! Go Lizzie!!
We flew off the start line, I was first down the hill with Sanna opting for the undergrowth and charging past me, Alastair B hot on her heels. I knew I wouldn’t be seeing them again and flew down Carding Mill Lane, all along saying to myself "You can go faster!" I was surprised that no one else had passed me yet and I actually had no idea how many were on this final lap. As I approached the bridge with water going across the path, Dragon’s Back tee shirt lady passed me saying, “Everything hurts now doesn’t it?” "No!" I thought to myself. A chap passed too, right behind her, I was now in 5th position. DBR lady (her name is Shan) wasn’t pulling away like I thought she would. Sanna and Shan had run every lap together, both looking very strong, one of the guys I had run with on a previous lap had said that they were machines, I knew that they would both be ahead of me on the final lap. I thought about what Kev said and decided to keep Shan in my sights for as long as possible. We went into the kissing gate together and she remarked, “Oh, you are coming with me?” Too right, this is a race after all! I’m not hanging around and going through the gate one at a time! We got to the BOD, the guy, then Shan, then me. What is going on though? These two are slow going up here! I couldn’t overtake them as there isn’t the space to and thought they’d probably pull away once at the top…. they didn’t! I passed Sanna, 4th. I passed the guy, 3rd. What is going on?! I reached the 22 minute gate at 20 minutes, yes! Downhill now, let’s go! Push, push, push!
I crossed the ford and reached the start of the long climb up the lane. A guy passed me as another chap came into view. I was now in 4th, but the chap in 3rd was walking! It’s time to Jeff my way up this hill! I knew I wasn’t strong enough to run the entire thing as it is quite steep in places but I knew if I ran-walked I would pass him, and I did, he encouraged me, told me well done and said he was sticking to his plan. Shan was long gone behind me, I just had to keep her there, Hannah’s voice was telling me to pump my arms, so pump my arms I did. Now how long could I stay ahead of this guy for? I tuned into the field knowing full well I could catch up with the headtorch in front of me before I reached the bottom, I had passed dozens of people in this field on previous laps. I was still in 4th and I was catching up with the guy in third! This was so exciting! In my head the mantra was on repeat, "You can go faster! You can go faster!" I wasted no time at the gate between the fields and reached the bottom gate as the 3rd place guy was going through it. The marshal told him he was in second place! He can’t be though as I knew I was in 4th. It later transpired, that the guy who had been in front of Sanna, had gone the wrong way. I am not sure where he went wrong, so there is a chance that at this point this guy was in 2nd and I was in 3rd.
I got onto Carding Mill Lane, wowsers, I was on 33 minutes! I was flying round! I planned to run as much as this as I possibly could but also felt that this would be a prime place for people to overtake me. Sure enough, a chap passed me and I was back into 5th place. I carried on listening to Hannah and pumped my arms, c’mon! One more passed me, pushing me into 6th but that was all! I ran up the Mud Chute not daring to look behind me to see if Shan was there and I crossed the line smiling like a mad woman, 6th overall (or possibly 5th depending how wrong the leading guy went!) and second lady. Absolutely blooming brilliant! I was delighted!
Lap 12: 44 minutes and 15 seconds.
Distance covered: 50.4 miles
What was in my aid station?
Hot food:
Pot Noodle
Porridge
Cold food:
Philadelphia and cucumber sandwiches
Veggie sausage rolls
Rice pudding
Fruit:
Watermelon
Grapes
Bananas
Snacks:
Crisps (Hula Hoops)
Cake (malt loaf, homemade rhubarb)
Sweets (Skittles)
Mixed fruit & nuts
Voom bar
Fun size chocolate selection
Stomach settling
crystallised ginger
Boredom
mints
Electrolytes/salt/caffeine replacement:
hydration tablets for water
Coke Cola
Caffeine sachet & caffeine sweets
Water
What I wore: Saucony Peregrine 12 ST, Garmin Forerunner Fenix 6 Sapphire, buff, Sweaty Betty power leggings, Stance socks, tee shirt, arm sleeves, sun cap, sunglasses, Dirty Girl gaiters.
Lead up: I had run the New Forest Ultra 6 days prior and had come down with a mystery illness the day after. Monday - Wednesday was spent either asleep in bed or asleep on the sofa feeling very sorry for myself. I then had a poorly tummy from Wednesday until the morning of the race so I was very worried I would have to DNS. Come Thursday afternoon I felt enormously better hence my decision to drive down to Narberth on Friday evening (5.5 hours!) and take the race one lap at a time. Knowing I would quit if I felt unwell in any way.
Morning preparations: A 10 am start meant a lovely leisurely morning. I had set my alarm for 8am but woke early so sat in bed watching telly and eating my porridge. I drove my car down to the Narberth car park to arrive bang on 8.30am as that was when we could officially set up from. I chose what I felt was the best parking space, close to the staring corral and set my car up with my snuggly blanket, pillow and laid out my things. I walked back to Madtom Guest Rooms to finish off my cup of tea I had left there and do my stretches. I headed back to the start and chilled out in the boot of my car which by the way, was very snuggly!
Summary: What a fantastic event, so thoroughly enjoyable and right up my street. I have surprised myself with just how much I adore the Backyard format, I love the strategies and planning required, it’s the chess version of a run! There is so very much more to it then initially meets the eye. I adored the twist in the tail too by having the race at the end, I really enjoyed the opportunity to push myself harder having already run 46 miles. It was a real pleasure to apply to this race everything I had learned previously from Faccombe Backyard.
Lessons learned:
Aid station preparation is key. Luckily I had long enough breaks to be able to prepare things but it would have served me well to have already put my batteries into my head torch and line up some of the food I knew I would be having rather than waste precious seconds retrieving it from my food stash.
Using Mother Nature’s facilities is definitely a lot quicker than using a portaloo
Establishing a routine and key time locations was worthwhile
Results
Strava time: 11h 44m 29s
Overall: 6/100
Female: 2nd
The Narberth Nobbler, The Dirty Dozen - click here for results
